


Maiden of Steel

by Monsterunderthefedora



Series: The Misadventures of a Witcher and His Bard [1]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Crossdressing, Dandelion is confused, Dandelion is trying his best, Geralt in a dress, It's for a contract, M/M, but not complaining, casefic, he will follow anything in a skirt, so i remedied that, yes I was disappointed in that side quest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24084937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsterunderthefedora/pseuds/Monsterunderthefedora
Summary: "That dress...""Not. A. Word."Geralt has to wear a dress for a case and is not at all pleased when Dandelion see's him. Dandelion, being Dandelion, decides to try and help. It goes about as well as is to be expected.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: The Misadventures of a Witcher and His Bard [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738909
Comments: 3
Kudos: 103





	Maiden of Steel

"....Geralt?"

"Dandelion?"

"What are you doing here?" The Witcher and the bard asked in unison. The bard had come for a night of fun, preferably away from The Chameleon. It was fun and all but the stress was starting to get to the bard. So he'd ventured a few days out to Velen. A small bar filled with people happily drinking and laughing. The bard had been regaling the men and women at his table about his adventures. Some would say they were a bit exaggerated, but that's what story telling was for. It was around his third or fourth mug of ale when a black dress caught his eye. Fancy, belonging to someone rich enough to afford that kind of dye. 

The woman was turned around, hunched over an empty table. Hey hair was pulled back in a long braid. Instantly he was interested as he made his way over, sitting on the table where her elbows rested.

"Excuse me madam, I couldn't help but notice you're all alone over here. Perhaps I could help remedy that...." The bard trailed off when he saw the face of the person in the said dress. Leading them to the confused exchange before Geralt grabbed the bard by his doublet. Dragging him into a private corner of the bar away from the prying eyes of the others there.

"Oh my Gods...Geralt...that dress..."

"Not a word."

"What? I was just going to say it's not your color." The bard stifled a laugh. Geralt of Rivia. The so called Butcher of Blaviken. In a dress at a bar. If it wasn't for the death glare pointed at him it would be hysterical. "I see you took some of Elihal's pointers in fashion."

"This is for a contract. That's it." Geralt growled out. But Dandelion didn't much care, staring at the hem of the dress. Did the shoes match or was he still wearing the old ugly hunting boots her never seemed to part with?

"And may I ask exactly what kind of contract has you looking so lovely?" The bard batted his eyes in a gesture the Witcher way severely confused by. 

"Women are being attacked. Found almost completely drained of their blood. My current bet is a higher vampire."

"I thought they didn't need to drink blood." The bard asked as he took a seat on a nearby bench. 

"They don't," Geralt sat across from Dandelion. "This one is doing it for fun. I can't find any trail and my medallion won't work around them. So..."

"You're dressed like a woman in hopes of getting attacked." Dandelion realised.

"Exactly."

"The dress...is it Yennefer's?"

".....maybe." Dandelion held back a snort. To be fair, Geralt looked a lot better in a dress than some women he'd been with.

"And you came to a bar because...?"

"Had to wait until nightfall. Half the idiots here are too drunk to even notice my face. That, and I really needed a drink to be able to do this." Geralt took a swig of his drink and the bard tilted his head.

"What exactly is your plan anyway? Just wander around at night until it comes for you?"

"I've tracked it's basic location. All the woman came from or around this bar. Considering most other women are to afraid to leave their homes right now it should be easy."

"How are you going to defend yourself?"

"A....sword?"

"Where are you...oh." Jaskier's eyes were back to the dress skirt. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"I'm wearing a dress. That doesn't suddenly mean I can't fight." Geralt rolled his eyes as he got up to leave. Dandelion sighed at his friend as the Witcher left the bar. About to go back to his table when his eyes caught a man dressed in dark clothing leave just behind Geralt. He already knew what Geralt would say about him getting involved. But really, there were so many things that could go wrong.... 

Leaving the tavern the bard looked around before seeing the coat of the man who was following Geralt. It was late at night and his bright clothes stood out like a metaphorical black sheep. The bard's attempts at sneaking around could best be described as laughable at best. So when he lost the man it wasn't a surprise. Glancing around the roads he was surprised when a hand grabbed him by the shoulder yanking him back. His yelp cut off by a hand over his mouth. Eyes looking up to see Geralt glaring at him.

"Shhhh," he hissed. Staring at the path in front of their alley way. Moments letter the man from the bar walking by as Geralt moved. "Stay here." The Witcher asked as he pulled out the sword from under the dress. The bard flushed. Flashing back to his time in the Skelliege Islands with one of the sword maidens. Gunhilde, now that was a woman he'd never forget. 

Geralt swung the sword towards the vampire but a hand extended out to catch the blade. The Witcher looked surprised as the man pushed him back on the ground. Scrambling for the weapon the vampire laughed.

"You think I didn't notice it was you at the tavern? The great Geralt of Rivia, actually thinking I could be fooled by, that?" He gestured to the dress. Geralt didn't say anything as he approached again. 

"You're still here so I don't think it matters." The Witcher hissed out. Dandelion blinked and in a moment the vampire was gone before reappearing behind Geralt. Grabbing him by his left arm and smashing the Witcher's face into a nearby building. 

"Hey!" The bard called out from his hiding place, rushing out. Both Geralt and the vampire turned.

"Dandelion..." Geralt tried to warn the bard but he either didn't notice or care. 

"Get your hands of him this instant!" The vampire looked down at the Witcher confused.

"Do you know him?"

"Sadly, yes." Geralt took this moment of confusion to turn the creature around. Planting his sword in the vampire's shoulder. It screeched out in pain, face shifting as it's body contorted. Dandelion watched in horror when Geralt pushed him back. "Dandelion, go!" Geralt yelled but the bard didn't move.

"Geralt, let me help! I-" The Bard was cut off by one of the creature's arms...wings? Knocking him back. He landed on the ground with a loud thump. Geralt was about to rush over when the creature shrieked again. Now completely in it's katakan form, even more ugly than before. 

"God damn it," Geralt went to move but the dress limited his ability. Barely dodging a side swipe from the creature the Witcher looked down at the skirt. Grabbing the edges he ripped a slit down the side allowing his legs more movement. The creature bristled, getting ready to disappear again when Geralt cast the axii sign. The creature froze, stunned for just a moment. Long enough for Geralt to swing hid sword down on the creature's neck in a killing blow. 

There was a wet squelch as it fell to the floor but Geralt paid it no mind. Rushing over to his bard and checking the man over.

"Dandelion, are you okay?" Geralt asked as he shook the bard. The man groaned, eyes slowly opening.

"Mmmm....Ciri?" He mumbled. Geralt sighed.

"Other one." Geralt let a small smile cross his face as he helped the bard up. 

"I had the weirdest dream....you were fighting a vampire in a dress...."

"Not a dream. Let's get you to a healer."

" 'm fine," the bard attempted to push off Geralt. He failed miserably.

"I don't think so." Geralt manuevered the concussed and inebriated Dandelion.

"You know....you should wear dresses more often. You look good in them."

"I'll keep that in mind next time."


End file.
